I'm insane. You have to be kind of insane to be a caterer and event planner. The stress of getting things done on time and making every client happy is similar to living with holiday deadlines, everyday, all year round.
Then add the holiday party season to a caterers/event planners mix and you've got "certifiably insane". Insane becomes me, thankfully. I thrive on party deadline stress. I'm pretty bored without it.
If you're not anything like me, you probably do think that choosing to be a caterer and event planner is insane. So to destress during the holidays, you should skip that dreaded night of baking pies. Bake two or three kinds of cookies instead of your Super Woman size of eight. And rather than brave the packed parking lots of shopper infested malls - this year shop on line! Trust me, the Neiman Marcus website is as safe as Fort Knox (cos honey, they want their money... so it's definitely safe)! Everything will be just fine.
Wouldn't it be nice for Christmas to be less stressful? Putting all that extra energy and effort into the holidays shouldn't be what makes them meaningful. Ditch the anxiety and worry. Welcome in positive energy and enthusiasm. You'll find the holidays to be calmer, that way.
For example, when you've learned how to destress and relax your wife, when you're the man of the house (and the main breadwinner) - and you've learned how to help your spouse destress on their own - or if you were to take a survey on how to destress, odds are that people would agree that your home life will be happier living a less stressful life.
Some would say, how to destress during the holidays is to learn how to say no during the holidays. It can be worth it to say no. Especially if saying no will stop depression during the holidays. If you're the one doing everything, it can be easy to feel a bit down and depressed about it.
The challenge is to simplify things (such as your family traditions) while emphasizing how to make your holiday celebrations just as special as before.
Here's how to begin...
Trim your to-do lists' list
Okay. Admittedly, that probably only applies to insane, me. How to destress oneself, begins with successfully making and completing your holiday to-do list. Let's see - you've got work, family and friends, and shopping - along with home chores (and don't forget sleeping!) on your plate, so knowing how to prioritize and maintain your to-do list will help you with knowing how to mentally destress, getting you to compartmentalize effectively.
First, you'll want to write down the things that you do to prepare for the holidays. Notice that I said, write down things you do to prepare - not, write down what you need or want to do to prepare. You see, you'll want to pay attention to how you feel as you do this. Pay close attention. Ask yourself questions, like - What makes you feel pressured? Which tasks do you really enjoy? Then, look at your list and cross off the stuff that makes you feel pressured or weighed down.
Keep it simple during the holidays.
Your next move is, ask your family (if you want to) what they'd vote to keep or toss out. You just might be surprised by their answers - which could cause you to see that they see that cutting costs during the holidays would be a wise move, because there are unnecessary things that you could erase from your to-do list. Make sense?
Have a plan
My efficiency (or lack thereof - when I don't follow "my plan") is almost solely based on following a daily time line. Sure, you might overextend some things sometimes. But a time line is like your plans' watchdog - barking at you to get it done.
Maybe you're like me. I'm at my 100% best when I make a chart (or a list) that begins just before Halloween, when I decide how many holidays cards I'll send and update my greeting card list, and ends around the New Year, when all of my holiday home decor comes down.
I'm thinking... This might help you. Because it sure does help me. Here's what I mean. By establishing specific time frames for cleaning, shopping, decorating, and cooking - you actually can get it all done. Do everything in small doses, as they say. Devote a specific day (say the first Friday in December) to holiday shopping. Take your holiday list with you and stick to it. If you do, your shopping will get done. And guess what? You won't feel stressed out.
Keep your family treasured traditions
If your family comes together to decorate the Christmas tree every year, it sounds like letting you decorate it yourself would be a deal breaker in their eyes. Certain time-consuming projects that are crucial holiday treasured traditions deserve to be kept. Toss the lousy ones out and move on. Making the decision to keep your family treasured traditions is a way of monitoring your stress level within itself - which destresses the situation in advance, if you think about it.
Get gift giving under control
Everyone has their special way of doing things. Some families draw names. Others put a cap on spending. And some buy gifts only for the kids. These types of things are most certainly what happens during a recession. Remember, you could do away with all of those gift giving ideas completely and donate the money to a worthy charity.
Keep your kids out of the stores if your desire is to get them to understand the true meaning of Christmas. Think about limiting each child to three unique holiday gifts: one practical gift - like a robe or pajamas, one "wish" gift, and something homemade. For holiday gift guide ideas, check out the top 10 holiday gifts for this year.
Save time, money and energy by wrapping gifts in only two kinds of papers and ribbons. Your end results will look elegant, and none of the kids will care. Kids tear open presents no matter how they're wrapped!
Ease up on your standards
Let it go. Stop trying to give your loved ones "the best holiday ever" or recreate the "perfect" Christmases you recall from your childhood. We have a tendency to remember childhood celebrations as more perfect than they really were - as we try our best to live to some imagined ideal, putting enormous pressure on ourselves to be perfect and do everything perfectly.
I had a conversation with my deceased brother's wife (she remarried a few years after my brother died, years ago) about old times and past get togethers. I was informed that what I remembered as "a great time" - with she, my brother and my parents - wasn't really that great after all. She said that things were often tense and that she and my brother didn't always get along. That's not how I've remembered it. But then, I was only eight or nine years old back then. I thought my dad was the strongest man in the world, too. And I promise you, I didn't feel that my memory was "tainted" when I favored my brother as being Mr. Wonderful - even though I worshiped the ground that he walked on!
Okay. So now I get it. As Gladys Knight says at the beginning of her rendition of the classic that Barbra Streisand made a big hit, "The Way We Were" - "You know, everybody's talking about the good old days, the good old days". You know what I found out? These are the good old days! I stopped knocking myself out, by trying to be Little Miss Perfect and all things to all people, some time ago. No, thank you. It was time to get past that way of thinking.
Easing up on your standards will probably make your holidays more enjoyable. Think about it. Doing it (easing up, letting go) gives your loved ones the freedom to do things their way for a change, instead of yours.
Look, I know how it goes. I'm a serious perfectionist candidate for OCD, myself. I can admit that I'm perfection-oriented.
I mean, for me - last minute, stop-by-for-cocktail-visits are a small production. Which, mind you, is why I think clients that hire me are always happy with my work. They know that if it's a "Carlo party" (Carlo At Your Service Productions), everything is finished on time and ahead of schedule. Because as far as I'm concerned, you didn't do it right if your staff isn't at the door, waiting - with their hand practically on the door nob, opening it when each guest arrives. Okay, okay... The door nob thing is a bit of an exaggeration.
The thing is, a caterer/event planner with a mild case of OCD isn't necessarily a bad thing. Their "issues", that cause them to get the job done excellently, can work to a clients advantage. As long as the caterer/event planner isn't "hyper" with OCD (now that's a crazy, lethal combination!), this is who you should hire.
However, being related to a caterer/event planner (that has a mild case of OCD), that you have to plan your holiday celebrations with is another story, left for another day.
So no matter what, ease up on your standards and let people contribute and help you. Trust me - perfectionism will only take you so far, especially when it comes to family. They're not a paying client, and having said that - sometimes instead of appreciating what you know how to do - there's sometimes resentment. If in your world everything is too "too" - as in, too sweet, too tall, too something, too whatever, for your tastes - your quest for perfectionism is overriding your reason to celebrate the season. So of course your family might feel animosity toward you.
Let it go. Don't take the fun out if it. Let others in on your plans.
Know when enough is enough
Think about it. If your Christmas card list has gotten too long, send holiday cards to only distant relatives and friends. Exchange greetings by email or in person with everyone else. And when it comes to decorating for the holidays - maybe using only half your holiday decorations is enough. Remember how to destress during the holidays and gracefully decline the invitation to some of the parties you'll be invited to. Say yes to the ones that you want to (or must) attend, and say "I'm so sorry" to all of the rest.
Share your workload
As much as it's not my personal cup of tea, I suggest that you consider having a holiday potluck dinner instead, and giving up the idea of pulling out all of your holiday recipes and cooking the entire feast all by yourself. Cut back on your baking time. Bake the top two group favorite types of cookies instead of making six. Ask family members to bake the ones that you're not baking, then hold a holiday cookie swap.
If you're super busy and could use some help setting up your Christmas tree - make a big salad, order pizza, serve soft drinks. Ask those who are attending to bring some beer - and have a merry tree-trimming party.
Prepare yourself for some pleasant surprises
I love to cook my holiday dinner specialties, so it would be kind of weird and hard to resist making my usual multi-course Christmas dinner. Paring it down has given me time to enjoy Louis and Pete playing in the snow, and "veg out" in front of the TV with time to watch the evenings holiday TV specials and OnDemand movies.
Never, ever forget the point
Plan to devote any time and energy that you save to activities that will enrich your holidays; attend a church service or a Christmas concert, help an elderly neighbor address and mail their Christmas cards, or just spend time with your family. Don't skip attending the neighborhood party only to spend the time entrenched in your working to meet a work deadline, as I've done, because it doesn't make your holidays happier.
This year, things will be much different. The main reason is that this year I'll get to spend some of my evenings playing holiday games and watching my favorite holiday movie, Holiday Inn, with friends. I had no idea how the "chips would fall". To have some free time during the holidays is a blessing, that's for sure.
Holiday game quiz question: 43% of people have done this during the holidays with gifts what is it? See answer* below.
I won't forget the point of celebrating Christmas. It doesn't hurt that I have to turn down almost every party this year. A client (that I lovingly call "Miss Fancy Pants", who lives in the tony Wabeek section of West Bloomfield, Michigan), has me booked to plan and cater her personal and corporate parties, from now (Halloween) until just after the first of the year. I'm busy, but I'll be able to plan my own holiday celebrations and relax more than usual because the Carlo At Your Service Productions 2009 holiday party schedule is basically completed.
There's nothing like the holidays! So make it fun when you hang your holiday wreaths and place all of your other trimmings.
Don't worry. Don't beat yourself up if you feel like you're doing some things "right" and some things "wrong". The main thing you're working toward is simplifying your holidays.
Keep an open mind and - with planning and managing your holiday tasks, saying "no" or cut back on some things, like sharing baking and cooking duties, for example. You'll know how to destress yourself and will find that your holiday celebrations will become more meaningful and joyful, and relaxed when you take it slow. .
You'll have mastered surviving the holidays (and staying healthy during the holidays) and how to destress during the holidays - making it easy to stay closer to home for the holidays - which will be a better suited way for you to help family and friends.
Other Related Articles:
Top Holiday Gifts of 2009
Super Easy and Quick Turkey Quesadillas
Holiday Clementine Trifle
Holiday Party Time
Holiday Hot Buttered Rum
Chocolate Soup
Holiday Eggnog Cheesecake
Keeping the Peace at your Holiday Party
Image source: Wikipedia
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* - 43% of shoppers plan to make holiday purchases from catalogs
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